It didnt quite get me right; the emotions, the motion of time, helpless in talking out for myself. I did everything I could. I ignore, and I keep it. & thats where I was wrong. It is inside me and its making me feel uncomfortable. I dont know why but it seems like I still havent fully achieved peace in my heart no matter how many times i pray, no matter how many good deeds ive done, its still there, living inside me. Maybe because I havent make deal yet, with myself. Instead of taking actions, I push it away. I rather not face it, because I think time will heal the pain, but of course, the scars remain. and it remembers. how it hurts u. how it got u broken. how everything feels destroyed. hopeless remain the truth. ure not sad or anything. u know when its inside u because though it happened already for years, when one of the random nights, it suddenly caught u in the moment and theres nothing u can do. is it trauma? i dont know.
This is one of those times where I really miss my Creator. I know God is real, I havent had doubt even once. I know His Greatness, not once I question it. But it makes me sad that a person is capable of hurting others & s/he didnt get to feel anything, because I do. I feel it in my bones. How comes I feel everything? How comes I cant sleep at nights just because I was thinking of someone else's fault? How does it becomes my misery? Why cant I make peace with it?
