Life can be pretty stressful, but if you met the right person at the right time, then I guess it will all be worth it? The problem is that life is never about one game, it knows everything; it can practically challenge us anything. But He never put us in a situation where we can't handle. I love how currently Im having a hard time, but then I have people supporting me, secretly helping me eventhough they didn't realise. Actually, I wish I can do something about this. I hate waking up every morning thinking I have been making a mistake. I wish I can just ignore the thoughts, but its really hard when its in you for a long time. Back then, thinking negatively can actually make me move forward. Buttt then its getting harder and harder, instead of making me move forward, it is ruining with my self-confidence. It is haunting me everytime I am in a difficult situation. So rather than just fixing it, I just ignore it at one point, I dont know what else to do. You know at some point youve choices u can choose but right now, both my choices are really hard. One can be pretty good for me but bad for other; and the opposite. I dont want to please anyone, but I had no choice, its my loved ones. So I had to go on.
Some said I am a coward. I admit sometimes I tend to run away from things but you dont get it. None of you gets it. You know what youre doing, you know what you want. I dont and its pretty stupid to go for things u dont even know. Its like youre going somewhere but you dont know your destination, and u keep making the wrong turns and people are mad at you for it. "Its not about the destination, its the journey." Yes, its not simple as that, when ure the type who likes to know wheres the destination so you could feel a bit relieved. I wish I know what I want so I dont go all lost in a moment when Im supposed to enjoy it. I take the blame, I know I can be reckless but people are different. Please dont expect them to be just like you.
Some of us are still trying hard to get 'in'.
